


Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

by Carazard



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Medievalstuck, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-19 07:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1461469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carazard/pseuds/Carazard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A number of problems can develop in life when you live on an island where centaurs, pirates and dragons are the norm.  Karkat Vantas will no longer stand for the plight of the lower classes; he, along with the leaders of three other realms, John Egbert, Dirk Strider and Feferi Pixies, come together to plunder all tyrants, pirates and general dickheads.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Midnight Get-Together

**Chapter One - Midnight Get-Together**

John Egbert was not one fond of formal occasions. The Autumn Ball was one of his least favourite of these dreaded events. Dances meant he had to get dressed up, have Jane fussily attack him with a comb, and have to make an effort to be relatively sociable with the creepy princes from the south. Oh how he hated living at the host Castle of this dance. Balls were pretty interesting when you could go and snoop at other castles, playing hide and seek and probably getting lost, but when they were in your own home? Boring!

Though, there was _really_ great food at balls...

... And it was an excuse to hang out with Dave and Rose.

They were the only reasons John was struggling to pull a very blue, very tight waistcoat around himself. Finally once the golden buttons were safely in place, he grabbed his ridiculously frilly silk coat and accompanying tricorne hat and he was out of the door.

Down flights of stairs John flew, greeting anyone he passed with a nod and a smile despite the fact he didn't recognise half of them. He was tempted to slide down the golden banisters, but resisted simply because last time he'd done so he'd nearly given Jane a heart attack.

"John, mate, there you are!"

John came to a sharp halt, sliding a little on the marble floor. In front of him was a man clad in hunting gear, waving at him. "Oh Jake, you're back!"

"Yep," Jake grinned, "we finished up pretty early; we got all the meat we need for tonight, thanks to Jade's keen eye, so we came back early to clean ourselves up a bit. Looking very dapper yourself, I must say."

John frowned, "I feel like a doll."

Jake smirked, "I know what you mean; it's a shame frills are so in recently, they _do_ look ridiculous. But hey, your waistcoat's nice enough."

"You're so lucky! Jane doesn't boss you about, telling _you_ what to wear, just because she likes you more than she likes me!" John said, partly joking.

Jake snorted, "no she doesn't, she just knows that if she let you wear what you wanted, you'd be walking around in a dirty shirt and underpants."

"Clothes are _boring_! Anyway, sorry, I have to go! I'm going to see Jane."

Jake and John waved goodbye as John darted away, down even more stairs, until finally he reached the doors leading outside to Jane's little cottage.

Plas Llyn Castle, home of John, Jane, Jake and Jade, was an impressive castle to say the least. It had been built atop a small mountain many, many years ago. At the foot of the mountain was a vast, clear lake. Waterfalls fell from the top of the mountain, secret gorges and miniature lakes could be discovered with great ease, and they only enhanced the natural beauty of the castle - and aided games of hide and seek to no end. Due to its rocky setting, the castle was more of a series of towers arranged very close together in a chaotic fashion that managed to look good. From the main gates of the castle came a great aqueduct that acted as a bridge, allowing citizens to walk down to the town that separated Northern Prospit from Northern Derse. If you carried along, at the other side of the town was another aqueduct which led up to the castle of Caer Mynydd, Northern Derse's impressive fort which was also built upon a series of mountains.

However, despite the divine architecture of Plas Llyn Castle, John had to admit that his favourite part of the fortress was Jane's quarters. They were built on one of the lowest parts of the mountain, very near a steep cliff face looking down directly into the lake. Immediately to your right was a powerful waterfall, it's spray sometimes catching you on the cheek. When standing immersed in the lush greenery and cavernous walls it felt like a truly magical getaway. No wonder Jane was so calm these days; how could anyone _not_ be calm when living in such a breathtaking environment?

John walked over to her neat, light blue front door, giving it a sure knock. A moment later there was a snap of locks, and Jane poked her head out.

"Oh John, hello - come in!"

John smiled, stepping inside the quaint cottage, taking a seat at the fashionably ragged table. Smalltalk was politely exchanged as Jane prepared drinks for them both, setting them down on the table and taking her own seat.

"Your waistcoat suits you," Jane smiled smugly, causing John to frown. "No, it really does! You'll look wonderful tonight. Hey, you might even get yourself a couple of dances with the ladies..."

"I don't _want_ a couple of dances with 'the ladies'!"

Jane smiled, "I know, I'm just kidding about, I thought you liked jokes. But hey, I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear I've been baking all morning in preparation for tonight."

John groaned; could his day get any worse!?

"Don't be like that! I've made some savoury things too. Lots of pies. "

"You're so lucky, Jane, you get to be a maid and do all the cooking you want to. I've gotta dress up like a stupid harlequin thing and go and talk to people and pretend I know what I'm doing!" John whined, lying his head down on the table.

"I'm only a maid because I chose to be one; you had the choice to stand down and get a less powerful position, John, but nope you go and choose to be the Heir of our kingdom! Just think yourself lucky we're not like Southern Derse where the Princess is in charge. At least here you're just a guardian rather than a ruler."

"Being an Heir seemed like a good thing at the time. I didn't realise there was so much work involved though..."

Jane chuckled, "oh John, cheer up! You get to see Dave tonight, don't you? And Rose and Roxy, and even Dirk, not that you two talk much. And you were getting pretty friendly with that troll at the last ball... oh what was his name? Karkarrot?"

" _Karkat._ He gets so angry, it's so funny!" John said with a snigger. "Though _never_ start a conversation with his older brother. Man, I thought Karkat could talk for Prospit, but nah, Kankri's the clear winner of that contest if anyone can be bothered waiting for him to stop talking to give him the first place prize."

"I'll bear it in mind," Jane said, "I heard Jade said Karkat had some 'big news' about tonight. I can't think what it would be, though. I suppose we'll have to wait and see. You'd better run along and make sure everything's prepared. You are our fearless guardian, after all."

"You're a guardian too!"

"Yes, and I am doing my part for Northern Prospit and making sure we have enough to feed our guests tonight!" Jane clapped her hands, standing up and prompting John to follow suit. "Off you go! Go and do our realm proud!"

John was shoved out of the door despite his complaints. He sighed, playing with the collar of his shirt.

Well, time to be an active member of society...

* * *

"Dirk Strider get your royal ass over here right now."

"Roxy I'm busy."

"Now. You too, Dave."

Caer Mynydd Castle was nearly as hectic as Plas Llyn Castle right now. Though it only currently had four members inside it, there was enough chaos to successfully stress out at least one hundred people at present.

Dirk Strider was winning the title of Most Stressed. He was almost guaranteed it, what with his more permanent title of Prince. Around the castle he ran - though it was more of a brisk walk - ensuring his poker face was intact like a carving into stone. He was half dressed, half asleep, and only half aware of what he was actually doing. He had no idea what had to be organised but he directed everyone as if he did know.

The usually calm and collected Dave Strider was also pretty jittery, though nowhere near to the extent Dirk was. Being the head knight, it was his job to ensure everyone going to the ball was assembled. Organising wasn't his best skill, though he wasn't going to admit that. Already he'd mucked it up, as when he checked up on his fellow knights, half of them were still asleep and the other half were naked and trying to get changed. They were meant to be leaving in thirty minutes.

It was Rose and Roxy Lalonde that were managing the tense atmosphere the best; though then again, when didn't the Lalondes perfectly handle a slightly awkward social situation? The two were not only ready down to the last hairclip, but they looked stunning both together and apart. Their dresses followed the same colour scheme and had obviously been designed by the same genius dressmaker. They floated elegantly in their dresses, tidying up after the Strider's messes, be it an organisational mess up or a pile of clothing.

"How do you not get stressed?" Dave muttered to himself as he wondered sulkily over to Roxy, who stood assertively in front of Dirk and Dave.

"Because we're not freaking out about seeing our boyfriends," Rose deadpanned from behind her book as Roxy fussily straightened Dave and Dirk's neckties.

Both Dirk and his brother spluttered at the flat comment, denying the 'boyfriend' part for all their dignity was worth.

"Give it up, boys, we Lalondes can see through your embarrassing 'cool' act. Janey and the others might fall for it, but nah, you're not fooling your own sisters," Roxy said with a laugh. "Relax a little, will you? There'll be wine later, that's for sure! And hey, they might not be your boyfriends yet but by the end of the night that might change!"

"There's nothing going on between Jake and I!"

"Me and John are just friends, stop it with your freaky psychoanalysis shit!"

Without even exchanging glances, Rose and Roxy perfectly synchronised their eyebrow raise and eye-rolls as the boys continued to protest.

"Anyway, hurry up you two," Rose snapped her book shut, placing it down. "Dave aren't you meant to be gathering your knights?"

"Ah yeah about that. They're all asleep. Or naked. Or both."

Rose frowned, "can I not rely on you to do anything?" She swept magnificently out of the room, skirts swaying behind her. Dave feared for the safety of his fellow knights.

"I'll go pick up Callie and we'll be set to go! Dirk have you got all of the food we need?" Roxy said.

"Roxy it's a twenty minute walk; even if I do forget something then it's hardly going to be the end of the world," said Dirk.

"That's simply not the regal attitude you need to adopt, _Prince_ Dirk! Go and double check everything! And while you're checking things, I'd check out your reflection because _damn_ son, that waistcoat does magical things for you. Jake's a lucky guy."

Dirk said everything he needed to say with a simple frown and brow furrow. With that he was out of the room. Damn it like he cared what Jake thought he looked like. He was a mighty prince with armies at his command and - and - he had really great hair. That was all a man needed. Yes.

"He's more of a love stuck idiot than you," Roxy muttered to Dave as the two watched Dirk, who had stopped on his way out of the room to repetitively hit his own forehead, unsuspecting of his two younger siblings that were watching him.

"It's gunna be a long night," Dave said simply. "At least Jane's in charge of catering this time."

* * *

"Have you got everything you need?"

"Hmm... Dew of the Ocean... Asafoetida... and, yes a dash of peppermint. I'm all set!"

Being a mermaid was certainly fun. Being a princess was also a bit of a blast. Being a mermaid princess was just fucking awesome. Though it did get to be troublesome when you had to travel to areas without water. Princess Feferi of Southern Derse was struggling with this issue right now. She had her trusty but whiney Prince Eridan beside her, who was struggling to hold all of the ingredients for the spell she was soon to be casting.

"How long will they last this time? Because last time was a little hectic... when you transformed back into a mermaid... while we were _on our horses_ ," Eridan fretted.

"Oh shush Eridan," Feferi said with a childish laugh, "I'll make sure it lasts two days, and I'll even bring some extra potion with me, okay? I'll try and make them a little smaller than last time, too, I was nearly taller than you with my heels on!"

Eridan merely hummed in reply.

"Now, off you go! I don't want you seeing my sizzling hot naked legs as soon as this spell is over!"

Hesitant to leave, Eridan wavered, "but what if it goes wrong and you blow up or somethin'..."

"Then I'll make sure to scream extra loud and you can come in and save the day, okay?"

With a grumble of defeat, Eridan grumpily left the room disappointed he could be of no more help.

What was actually only a few minutes of waiting felt like hours. Clatters and crashes came from behind the closed door that Eridan was forbidden to open. He sank to the floor, crouching against the door and fiddling with the cuff of his cape, listening intently for anything that resembled a scream.

The door clicked, being pulled open by someone on the other side. Eridan, as he was leaning against it, fell down with it and straight into a smooth pair of legs. He followed the legs up to find Feferi smiling at him.

"What're you doing down there?" She laughed, helping him up, and then signalled to her new limbs. "Whaddya think?"

"They're... nice... legs," Eridan said simply. They were indeed very nice legs; they curved in the right places and weren't ridiculously thin. Around the slightly knobbly knees were a few freckles, and she had managed to make them shorter this time. In fact she'd made herself tiny in the process; she didn't even come up to the top of his shoulder...

... _That was adorable._

"Eridan?"

"Hm? Yes. Nice legs. Very good legs. Good."

"What? No I was asking if you could give me a hand picking my dress for tonight."

Eridan blinked, "Oh. Well can I see the options?"

Feferi took Eridan's hand, leading them down the hallways of their castle, stopping at the door to Feferi's walk-in wardrobe. Through the doors she swept, immediately pulling things out from draws and off hangers here and there before she had an absurdly large pile of purple, lacy garments and accessories.

"This is why I need your help. Go and fetch what you're wearing. Hey, we can co-ordinate! That'll be completely perfect!"

An hour later, Eridan and Feferi stood arm in arm facing the magnificent full length mirror that took up most of the wall. Their reflections suited the grace of the mirror perfectly, as the pair did indeed look glorious to say the least. Eridan wore a coat which just swept the ground, and in place of buttons were intricate golden chains, giving the whole outfit a totally different impact. Of course he wore a cape with the outfit, though this was his 'fancy' cape, which had been embroidered and generally looked very regal.

Feferi was just as breathtaking. Of course she wore a ball gown; this was a ball. The bodice was purple in its hue, as were all of Feferi's clothes. It was heavily embroidered in gold and white though didn't look tacky. The skirts were tiered and frilly, though didn't look ridiculous, they managed to float behind her with an almost watery effect. The front of the dress was cut open, showing off her newly conjured up legs. It wasn't every day she wasn't a mermaid after all! Feferi too wore a cape, though intended to take it off as soon as the journey up there was over as she felt capes were tacky, much to Eridan's disappointment. And finally, on top of her wildly dark hair, sat a simple golden tiara embedded with a few amethysts. After all, what was a princess without her crown?

Though, the pair's favourite part of their garments was that, if you looked very, very carefully, tiny embroidered sea creatures could be found in the material. It was a small detail that few would notice, but it completed them.

"Ready, your royal highness?" Eridan said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Oh shush you don't go acting all formal just for the look of it," Feferi said, flicking Eridan's nose. "Yes, I am ready, my lord. Let's do this."

* * *

Later in the evening, inside the warm walls of Plas Llyn Castle the guests began to join one by one until Jane who was keeping an eye on the attendance list gave John the go-ahead to make his big and impressive speech.

John had no idea how to give a big and impressive speech.

Nevertheless the Heir excused himself from his and Jade's conversation, getting up and walking towards the slightly raised platform at the front of the ballroom. He cleared his throat.

"Um... Hello! Hello ladies and gentlemen, I, John Egbert, one of the four guardians of Northern Prospit, welcome you to our castle and hope that you find this evening very enjoyable," John said as confidently as he could, trying to remember what Rose and Dave had told him to say before. "Dance to your heart's content, try the... _lovely_... baking expertise of Miss Jane Crocker, and have a wonderful night. I can assure you, pranks will be conducted in the later hours of the evening! If there are any problems, I shall ensure to do my best to help you. Thank you."

John stepped off the podium as he was clapped, frowning at how false and frankly _annoying_ he'd sounded. He hated all of these posh formalities. He didn't have any time to worry about his awful introductory speech, however, as Dave was approaching him.

"Nice job on the speech, man."

John couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

"It was awful. I sounded like a creepy merchant or some shit."

Dave smirked a little, "nah, it was passable. You didn't sound like _you,_ but you did sound like who you were meant to be. Dirk never sounds like Dirk when he makes speeches, he sounds like a fucking awesome prince. But in actuality he's just a nerd that makes puppets from old curtains when no one's around."

John laughed, "I guess that makes me feel a little better about it. Thanks, man."

"No probs. My duty as a knight to serve the guardians of our neighbouring kingdom," Dave smirked.

John sighed, "I wish I was a knight too. You and Karkat and the others look like you have so much fun!"

"Trust me, man, it's not as great as it looks. We have to do a fuckton more than people think we do. Not all slaying dragons and saving princesses."

"Like _you'd_ save a _princess_ ," John snorted, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know why you're taking that tone, John," Dave acted nonchalant, and, with perfect comedic timing, deadpanned, "would you care to dance?"

John giggled, "like I'd dance with _you_!"

"C'mon my mighty Heir, oh guardian of this great realm, will you not grace me with your company for just a single song? Or are you intimidated by the Strider charm?" Dave waggled his eyebrows, catching John's hand in his own.

"People'll talk, though," John said, a hint of seriousness in his tone now.

"Fuck man you're the top dog in this place. And I'm the little brother of a fuckin' Prince. If anyone 'talks', in theory we could exile them..."

"... Yes but we _wouldn't_ do that because we're not fucked up tyrants," John frowned, very deliberately shooting a side glance at the Makara brothers.

"Of course, of course," Dave said, totally uninterested. "A dance, my heir?"

" _Fine!_ If you so insist, Sir Strider," John said.

Dave smirked at his victory, and the two made their way over to a quiet corner of the room, awkwardly fumbling about trying to work out who'd take the part of the female dance partner. John had insisted it was Dave.

Rose watched them from across the room, chuckling a little to herself. It was about time they danced, for god's sake. That pair were such awkward idiots.

However Rose didn't intend to spend her evening watching her brother and her close friend awkwardly try and flirt with each other. She had her own plans.

"Um, excuse me," someone tapped Rose on the arm.

Turning, Rose saw the arm-tapper was a troll. A very pretty female troll, too. Rose might've blushed if it wasn't for her ridiculous self control.

"Yes?" Rose said.

"I can't help but notice your dress, miss," the troll said.

"Ah, yes, it's a truly exquisite garment, is it not? In fact I was looking for its creator to thank them for their fine work. You wouldn't happen to know who it is? I was told they'd be here tonight," Rose said.

The troll smiled a little, "yes, actually, that would be me."

"Oh! Well, I must say, miss...?"

"Kanaya. Kanaya Maryam."

"Miss Maryam, I am in love with your works! My commission was put in so late, as well, I'm amazed how you managed to finish it in time, and to such a high quality. My sister and I feel truly honoured to be wearing such fine works of art. So honestly, thank you."

Kanaya was slightly taken aback by the sudden rush of appreciation from a woman she'd only just met. "It's... It's my pleasure, Miss Lalonde, is it? I'm relieved I managed to find you today, as I do like to see my dresses being worn by those who wanted them, and you wear it... well you wear it perfectly, Miss Lalonde."

"Only as it was made so perfectly, I can assure you," Rose smiled. "I feel my payment for this dress simply wasn't enough. Please, let me treat you to a meal one day. Or we could go to the theatre, or I could show you some breathtaking sights in the Derse mountains?"

"That..." Kanaya paused, "that sounds lovely. Yes, I'd love to."

They smiled at one another for a second, neither sure what to say. They hadn't expected each other to be so... nice.

"Say, um, Miss Lalonde?"

"Please, call me Rose," Rose smiled.

"Rose, would you - would you perhaps like to dance?"

Getting to her feet, Rose took Kanaya's hand, "it's like you read my mind, Kanaya."

* * *

"Sup fellow knight," Dave said to Karkat.

Karkat, head knight of Southern Prospit, had just returned from a commotion with a centaur not being able to get through a door, and had been running around all evening trying to get a 'very important' message spread around.

"I've got... three more people left to tell," Karkat said flatly, leaning against the wall.

"Wow that was quick. You're an eager one aren't you?" Dave smirked. "Let me guess... one of the three people left to tell is..."

"Yes it's fucking Jade don't be so fucking smug. I also have Eridan and Feferi from Southern Derse left." Karkat said flatly, not rising to Dave's teasing.

"Well you're in luck with Eridan. He's been asking practically everyone to dance. Probably would've asked you by now if you weren't so busy acting as a messenger boy. As for Jade... oh look here she comes now."

"Wh-What!?"

Sure enough Jade, who had a glass in one hand, was making her way over to where Karkat and Dave were standing.

"Hey you two!" She sang happily, "you're so boring standing about here with nothing to do! Dance with someone, or are you both too shy?"

"I've done my dancing bit already," Dave said.

"Oooooh, with who?"

"Egbert."

"Aw Dave I saw that little smile there! Even Mr Strider can't keep a tiny grin off his face when he talks about the man he's smitten with!"

"What!? There was no little smile there!" Dave said, then coughed, lowering his tone. "Egbert asked me to dance. I was only doing what my superior commanded. It's my duty as a knight. Just doing my job. Yeah. Like I'd ask that loser to dance. And if I did want to dance with him then he'd be the one with the 'little grin'."

"Dave you're babbling." Jade said.

"No I'm not." Dave said. "Shut up."

Jade turned to Karkat, "You danced with anyone, Karkat? Or too chicken?"

Karkat frowned, "Not too chicken just too busy."

"Busy doing what, hmm?"

"Telling everyone about-," Karkat dropped his tone, "there's going to be a little 'gathering' later. We need you to come to it." He then proceeded to tell whisper specific details to Jade, who 'mm'-ed in all the right places to demonstrate her understanding.

Jade nodded, looking serious. "I'll make sure to be there, don't worry." She then returned to her usual perky tone, "so how about it, Karkat? Want to dance?"

"Aren't I meant to be the one that asks you?" Karkat grumbled but held out his hand so's she could take it.

Jade replied in a very deep, oddly accented voice. "I don't mind if I do." A cold hand took Karkat's in its strong grasp. Karkat looked up and to his horror he was, in fact, dancing with the Prince of Southern Derse; Eridan Ampora.

"Get your fucking fish infected hands off me you genocidal shithead."

"Oh Kar don't be so fuckin' cold and dance with me."

Karkat was pulled away into the mass of dancing pairs, everyone circling in time to the waltz beat. Karkat glared at Eridan, looking back at Dave and Jade to see if they'd give him any help.

Judging by Jade's giggling and Dave's sarcastic eyebrow-waggling, those two would be of no help.

"What the fuck do you want Ampora?"

"Is that any way to talk to your social superior?"

"Sorry. What the fuck do you want Your Grace?"

Eridan frowned, "a dance. Isn't that obvious?"

Karkat growled, deliberately standing very hard on one of Eridan's feet as they turned. The Prince whimpered a little at the aggressive notion, but it gave Karkat a chance to talk.

"Look, as much as I fucking hate to be dancing with _you,_ this is actually pretty useful," as they awkwardly twirled in time with the crowd, Karkat noticed them dancing further towards Aranea Serket; i.e. someone he did not fucking trust. "Come here and lean in close to me."

Eridan raised an eyebrow, not believing what Karkat was asking him to do.

"Just fucking do it and don't get any fucking ideas."

Eridan did so, tilting his head down in such a way that their horns didn't collide and his ear was down by Karkat's lips.

"Okay there's a meet up that you and your precious mermaid princess have to be at. I can't tell you what we're discussing right now, but basically you and her need to get your gills down to John Egbert's quarters as soon as things here start to get a little calmer, so about one or two in the morning. And whatever you do _don't talk to anyone about it_. Just tell Feferi. And oh tell Cronus too - but Kankri's probably already told him. And tell Sollux too. Got it?"

Eridan straightened up, nodding. "I guess."

"Don't fucking guess just fucking do it."

"Fine."

The two stopped talking but the dance continued. Karkat frowned. "What's got you so bitter? Like you're never usually a fucking lump of sugar, but Jesus Christ you could curdle fucking milk today."

Eridan sneered, motioning over to their left. Karkat looked, and saw in the crowd of dancers Feferi circling with some unnamed human, the two of them politely conversing while they danced.

"What you're jealous?"

"No it's just every fuckin' time I go over to ask her for just a single fuckin' dance some other fancy troll or human or whatever is already _fuckin'_ there beggin' her for a dance. I'm a fuckin' prince surely I get some fuckin' priority over those low-blooded halfwits?"

"Well your princess has never been one to judge on race or blood, has she?" Karkat said.

"But... I dunno, Kar, it just feels like I'm just another nameless guy to her when I'm in a situation like this. I'm _important_ enough to dance with her, surely? Like we talk every fuckin' day and not just about military and royal shit either, like proper conversations. And it's not like I get to dance with her whenever I want back at home; she's a fuckin' mermaid after all and they're not the best ones for dancing with." Eridan said, finishing with a sigh.

Karkat frowned at him, but before he replied he listened to the music. Oh good he knew this song! And, yes! It was just about to finish!

"Right the song's just about to end, which means so is her fucking dance, so get your pathetic, fishy ass over there and just _ask her to fucking dance_. You got me to dance with you so work your fishy magic and grow a fucking backbone you fucking idiot." Karkat said, shoving Eridan out of his arms and over in the direction of Feferi.

As the music came to a perfect closure, some dance partners nodded in farewell to each other, while others stayed together for another dance. Feferi was among the former, giving a diplomatic goodbye to her dance partner who was angling for another dance. Karkat watched as Eridan tried to make his way over casually. Feferi saw Eridan, and they engaged in light conversation, Karkat couldn't hear their exact words, but just as Eridan was about to ask her, the next song started up, and Sollux appeared from nowhere, cut across Eridan completely, presumably asking Feferi for a dance, and the two swept away, leaving Eridan standing in the middle of the hall quite astounded at his bad luck.

Eridan didn't even turn around to go and cry to Karkat, instead he made his way over to where he knew there was alcohol.

"Damn, poor guy. He doesn't seem like a very _nice_ guy, but still it's a shame that happened to him," Jade was suddenly beside Karkat, and apparently had watched the whole thing.

"Fuck when did you get there!?" Karkat said.

"I've been here a while! Anyway, he stole my dance with you, so if you don't mind...!" Jade yanked Karkat's arm, pulling them into a dancing position. "Off we go!" She laughed, twirling the two of them about a ridiculous number of times to the point where Karkat was beginning to feel ill.

Karkat sighed. Well at least he'd managed to tell everyone about the somewhat suspicious get-together.

* * *

Dirk quite liked being a prince. Being a prince gave him power. Not power that he intended to misuse of course. And naturally, being a prince did not make him a better _person_ than a maid - it just meant he had a different _role_ than the maid. That was the key to Northern Derse's success; everyone understood that a job was just that; a job. And it was a Prince's job to serve the people's needs and lead them into glory, and it was a maid's job to cook and to clean. Both were vital for the survival of the country, and both were very different.

But... if he had all of this confidence and power... why the hell was he nervous?

Well, of course Prince Dirk knew exactly why he was nervous. Jake English, the Page of the neighbouring kingdom that he'd had his eye on for a while now, was standing, partner-less over the other side of the hall. Dirk had always been interested in Jake; he did seem like an interesting guy! But due to Jake's excessive travelling and Dirk's ridiculously busy schedule, despite their realms being very heavily allied, Dirk couldn't actually remember speaking more than a few words to Jake.

Balls like these were a perfect opportunity for Dirk to pursue his curiosity. However, it seemed Jake was pretty popular with the ladies, and was very often conversing with women, or dancing with them. This was a golden opportunity to go and say hello.

_So why the hell was Dirk so nervous?_

_No look,_ Dirk told himself, _just go over there and just talk to him. If it goes awfully - which it won't, you got this man - then fuck it. You never see him anyway. You don't need no man, you are a strong and independent prince._

Filled with newfound confidence from his internal pep-talk, Dirk strode like a true Strider over to where Jake was staring into space. Along the way, Dirk made sure to smoothly swipe a glass of wine from a passing waiter,.

 _There he is,_ Dirk told himself as he reached Jake. _Work your magic, Strider._

"Sup."

 _Nailed it_.

Jake looked up, "That's... an odd expression. A new trend in the east?"

"Yeah. It's like 'what's up' but... shortened."

Jake nodded, having nothing more to add.

"You're Jake English, right?" Dirk asked.

"Yes, that's me," Jake said. He paused, "you're... oh I'm sorry I'm awful with names... D... Dave?"

Dirk frowned. "Nope."

"Oh of course, he's your brother isn't he? I'm sorry, I'm afraid I have to give up."

"Dirk Strider, Prince of Northern Derse. Lovely to meet you Mr English," Dirk very insistently took Jake's hand, shaking it quite vigorously.

"Well, I knew you were the Prince. I'm not that forgetful."

"Wine?" Dirk asked, offering him the glass.

Jake held up a hand, "I'm alright thank you. I don't want to get drunk before later. After all, we should be leaving in..." Jake checked the clock, "about an hour."

"Ah so the grumpy troll passed on the message then?" Dirk said, drinking the wine himself.

"Yes. Though I have no idea what it might be about. I'm curious to say the least."

Dirk nodded, "seems pretty serious though. The grumpy guy's been up about talking to everyone about it. He looked pretty stressed," Dirk laughed, "especially when your sister asked him to dance."

Jake's pouted, "Jade's danced already? Damn, that's one bet I've lost..."

"Surely a dance with a prince would trump a dance with a knight?" Dirk asked nonchalantly.

"According to our betting rules, it would. But I don't see any princes I could dance wi-" Jake cut off realising what Dirk was getting at.

Dirk smirked slightly, holding out a hand. Jake took it hesitantly. "I'm not very good at dancing."

"It's fine; I am. Follow my lead." Dirk twirled them into the thicket of people, keeping an eye on the pairs he saw around him, smirking as he saw Rose and a pretty troll hand in hand.

"Why'd you ask me to dance?" Jake asked.

"So you could win your bet."

Jake narrowed his eyes, not convinced. "Why'd you come over and talk to me in the first place?"

Dirk shrugged. "You looked bored."

"That's the only reason?"

"Mmhm."

The two danced for a good hour, conversing about nothing in particular. Dirk taught Jake how to dance the waltz, at least. Now Jake wouldn't awkwardly trip over every dance partner's feet.

"Hey," Dirk leaned in close to Jake to whisper to him. Jake tensed up a little at the invasion of space. "We'd better take off."

Jake paused, eyes widening a little. Dirk internally smirked; Jake had taken that completely the wrong way.

"I mean, for the grumpy troll's meet up thing in John's quarters?"

Jake blinked a few times, "oh! Yes, that, of course. Let's go."

"Remember; be subtle," Dirk said, pulling Jake out of their dancing stance and through the slowly deteriorating crowds. The two weaved through slowly, stopping to say hello to people here and there, before they finally exited the hall.

"Where're we going?" Dirk said.

"This way," Jake pulled on Dirk's hand he had yet to let go. Jake directed them up a flight of long marble stairs and down a few winding corridors.

"I've always thought this castle is unnecessarily big. How don't you all get lost?" Dirk frowned.

"It's big because we _share_ it," Jake said, "it's not just four people living here, there's about one hundred in total."

"I bet newcomers need a map."

Jake laughed, "you're right, actually. Jane makes them. We're here!"

Knocking thrice on the enormous wooden door, Jake pulled on the iron handle, letting him and Dirk inside.

"Fucking finally."

Inside, John's large room had been completely rearranged. All the furniture he usually had in there had been pushed to the sides of the room, and instead were many, many long tables, with humans and trolls sat around them alike. In the centre of the conference set-up sat Karkat, beside him was Kankri his brother, and John. Around them sat Rose, Dave, Roxy, Jane and Jade.

And, Dirk did a quick count, eight other trolls. And a centaur. Damn that centaur was rad.

Dirk and Jake were quickly introduced to everyone. Amongst the ten trolls sat the royals of Southern Derse, Prince Eridan and Princess Feferi, and with them was their bard, Cronus, and some sarcastic guy called Sollux. From Southern Prospit were Kanaya and Porrim, the sisters, and the awesome Latula, who Dirk recognised from a few training sessions for knights.

The name of the centaur was Equius, and the troll girl that sat beside him permanently was called Nepeta.

Finally, Porrim, Karkat and Cronus managed to get Kankri to shut up for the time being, and Karkat stood up, clearing his throat.

"First, thank you for coming here. Although I hate most of you, you're pretty vital for this plan to work, so for you being here, that I appreciate. I do not, however, appreciate the fact that half of you smell of either horses or fish. Moving swiftly along...

"The reason I ruined your dismal evenings to rant at you is quite simple. Everyone here knows the 'great leaders' of Southern Prospit, Gamzee and Kurloz Makara. It's common fucking knowledge that they are not fair rulers. And that is exactly what we are here to discuss."

Karkat placed a scroll down on the table, unrolling it with the help of John. He smashed his fist violently on the parchment.

" _Revolution_ is our topic of discussion tonight."

* * *


	2. You are a Pirate

**Chapter Two - You are a Pirate**

"Our 'leaders', Kurloz and Gamzee Makara are hardly worthy of such noble titles. It is astounding to believe our great realm has fallen under the influence of such tyrants. They persecute the lower classes both passively and actively; they will let the lower classes starve as they ensure the castle is stocked full of food, and will not hesitate to order a lower class citizen to do dangerous jobs that should be left up to Knights such as my brother. They care only for their personal interest, and they are not _rulers_. Although I have no official power over the people of my realm, I rule more often and more effectively than both of these oppressors."

Someone had fucked up and let Kankri explain the revolution plans. What an idiot that person was.

Karkat quickly rescued the situation, taking over.

"We all get the fucking picture. They're shitheads and you're fucking great because this revolution was your idea, and we should all just follow your orders. That's fucking great Kankri."

"I find that _highly_ offensive -"

Karkat cut across Kankri once again, continuing talking to their audience despite Kankri's impertinent yapping.

"The Knights of Southern Prospit have all got together, spreading the word around the lower classes, telling those we know we can trust about the very early beginnings of this revolution. Of course, everyone's been for it; only fucking masochists wouldn't be. We Knights effectively have a whole realm's worth of citizens on our side, however, that isn't fucking enough. Due to the fact this revolution has occurred because they're being oppressed, they're not exactly well equipped. This is where you all come in."

Kankri looked about ready to explode as he tried to take over again, however Kanaya stood this time.

"Here we have gathered two leaders and four guardians. You are all in very powerful positions; positions that are very valuable to us. We call you here as, with yours and your people's help, we believe we can overthrow our current leaders, and have a better future, not only for our realm, but also for other realms."

Dave was first to speak. "So what, you want us to behead the clowns?"

Kanaya looked very tempted to agree to that.

Karkat answered instead. "No, it's not that simple. As you all know, the biggest threat for people at the minute are pirates, because we have no fucking clue how many of them there are. What we do know, however, is Miss Queen Pirate at the minute is Vriska Serket. Aranea Serket, Vriska's sister, is currently in a very high position in Southern Prospit's class system; she's third in command. Aranea is unpredictable and although she seems to be friendly enough, she could be working for the Makaras, she could be on the side of the pirates, she could be totally independent from both. She could be any combination of any weird alliance. She's a fucking wildcard that we can't risk getting involved. " Karkat explained, sounding a little exasperated as Kankri enthusiastically took over.

"So really what he's trying to say, but phrasing in such an atrociously distasteful way, is that if we charge in there without a plan, we may indeed all be in a deep predicament that could cause a... hitch in our mission. Namely death, to put it bluntly. We have developed the beginnings of a plan to get around this, though it is nowhere near completed."

"What is the plan?" John asked. Karkat quickly answered.

"When it's Spring and our turn to host the ball is when it'll happen. What 'it' is, we don't fucking know, only that it's some form of revolt, but as long as nothing happens in the time being, that's a perfect opportunity to strike."

Everyone paused for a moment, no one having anything to say.

"And that's everything," Karkat concluded, sitting down. Kankri looked like that certainly _wasn't_ everything, but Porrim's harsh glare kept him quiet.

"What's in it for us?" Eridan asked. Feferi hit his arm, frowning at him for his self-absorbed question. "Well don't look at me like that! This isn't a matter of us helping out a friend who's in a bit of trouble. We have citizen's lives at risk here."

"Like _you_ care about the _citizens_ ," Sollux scoffed.

"What is your fuckin' _problem_ with me!?" Eridan spluttered, "perhaps that isn't my primary objective to preserve the lives of our lower bloods, but it's still a fuckin' fact that some people _will_ die if we help them! What are we to gain, as a realm, for that price?"

"He has a point," Rose piped up from the other side of the table, looking up from her book. "He phrased it awfully, and it's hardly comprehendible through that stupid accent of his, but he does indeed raise an interesting and important issue."

Everyone looked at Karkat and Kankri expectantly.

"You will get..." Karkat frowned, thinking as quickly as he could, "an alliance with a fucking great realm?"

"That's as weak as Kankri's immunity to slightly triggering issues," John grinned.

"Shut it Egbert. Look, we might not have anything to offer directly, but this is _beneficial_ , and is so to many people! Just because we're not handing you over a bag of gold and giving you a big pat on the back and saying 'well fucking done, you did a great job beheading that tyrant right there' does _not_ mean that this is pointless to all of you. If this is successful, you get more trade, more resources, more taxes, more citizens. Fuck, if we all worked together we could probably start exploring what's beyond our tiny island."

There was muttering in the crowd. Nepeta and Equius were first to speak.

"You have the alliance of the forest citizens and the centaurs," Equius said. "That it, if you will stop reducing our habitat once you are in power."

Karkat nodded, "we intended to do that."

John spoke next, "all four of us guardians agree that you have our help. There's only things to be gained here, and maybe we can even get rid of the pirates in the process of this revolution."

Dirk then spoke. "Seeing as we're in a strong alliance with North Prospit, if they're in, then we are too. You have all of our knights at your disposal, though I trust you won't be careless with their lives. Roxy is also very good at going under cover, so you have her services too."

"I'm like Robin Hood!" Roxy said, smiling widely.

There was still some commotion over with Eridan, Feferi and Sollux.

"Eridan we should help them!"

"No, Fef, pirates are involved in this, and considering you live _in water_ , I don't think it's a fuckin' brilliant idea to attract their attention and practically hand them over a pre-kidnapped princess. Also it doesn't really go hand-in-hand with the whole "take-over-the-rest-of-the-island" plan we had goin' on a while ago."

"That was never a plan, Eridan! You just thought it was because you're power-obsessed!"

"Look, Fef, even if we do give them a hand, we don't have any fuckin' knights! We got me, and I guess we got Cronus, but that's about fuckin' it on the fighting front. Apart from the low bloods but we ain't classin' them."

"I swear Eridan I have had it up to _here_ with you," Feferi glared at him.

"As much as I fucking hate to agree with such a bastard, he has a point," Sollux said. "We _don't_ have a lot to offer as a region; we have the smallest population. And also a lot more of our people are accustomed to the persecution of the lower classes, so will probably have no incentive to rebel." Sollux frowned. He hated Eridan being right.

Feferi chewed uneasily on her lip.

"They have two large kingdoms on their side already," Sollux added.

That seemed to totally convince Feferi, "I'm sorry, but it doesn't look like we're in a position to help you at the moment."

Karkat frowned, but nodded curtly. "I get it. I did hear your entire fucking conversation, after all."

Before anyone could say anything more on the matter, the door flung open, clashing against the wall and echoing noisily around the room. Many members gasped; was their talk of revolution rumbled by an enemy's interference this early on?

"Who the fuck thought it'd be a good idea to start this revolution thing without me? 'Cuz I swear, I'll cull 'em with my fork."

There in the doorway, brandishing her incredibly large culling fork and clad in pirate getup was Meenah Peixes. Meenah ignored the rumbles of commotion coming from where Eridan and Feferi were sitting, and continued with her... dramatic introduction.

"No need to give me the low down on your shit, I already asked a maid who told me everything I need to know. You better fix that problem, by the way; what if they'd told an enemy all the details? But there is a reason why I am so fashionably late. I got the lowdown on the pirate situation."

More mumbles broke out now, Karkat was a little disoriented by everything that was going on, so shut the door and screamed for everyone to shut up. Once Meenah was sitting down, she began her tale.

"So we all know that a few years ago I abdicated, right? Gave the throne to my lil' sis', because fuck I don't want that position. So I run off, go explore, be a bit of a Thief, y'know? Then I get myself on board a pirate ship; a fucking Serket pirate ship. Been on that vessel for what, six months? And damn we're kinda fucked on the pirate front. There's loads of 'em. I mean at least half of the land population. But you see, you can't trust none of them. Even people on land that you're convinced are definitely not pirates are indeed fucking pirates. Serket already knows about the stirrings of your revolution; some lower class maid told her or something. That's why I'm here now; Vriska told me, and I pretended to come over here to spy on you guys, but I ain't goin' back on that ship, you can believe me."

"How do we know that you're not just double crossing up?" Eridan frowned.

"You don't," Meenah shrugged, "there's no way I can prove it. But if I were workin' for them, would I be tellin' you all this?"

"It could be false information," Dirk interjected.

"But it's realistic. We all knew there was an issue with pirates for a while now," Jade retorted.

"Yeah, listen to the one in green, she knows what she's on about. Look I don't even really wanna be involved in this, I just came to give you a heads up about pirates. I don't want no part in the actual revolution shit."

"Thanks for your wonderfully unreliable evidence," said Karkat.

"No probs," Meenah got to her feet. "Peixes out. Seeya suckas."

* * *

Breathtaking was the best way to describe Southern Prospit's coastal line. The beaches were clear and nearly totally natural; some rocky, some sandy, and some were just cliffs. They were as vast as they were impressive, and caves were a common occurrence in these areas. There were so many caves, in fact, and all of them so vast, that they had yet to all be mapped out. People were still stumbling across new ones.

Which of course made them perfect places for pirates. How would anyone find your smugglers market if no one could even find the cave your smuggler's market was in?

Vriska Serket had been the first to discover the handiness of said caves. This had then given her a massive advantage over other pirates, setting her leagues ahead. Since then she'd continued to climb the rigging to success in her dark "career" choice, giving the Serket name a wonderful reputation. Upon hearing the name many claimed to feel both fear and loathing. Vriska quite liked being the cause of such negative emotions by the simple mention of her name.

Vriska sat on the rocks, fiddling with her compass and looking out into the waves. The instrument informed her she was indeed heading the correct direction to reach her destination, and looking at the size of the rocks... yes, she must be nearly there. She climbed to her feet, kicking a pebble off the rock and into the ocean below. She turned, leaping down and strode across the rocky terrain, unfazed by the uneven ground.

There they were; the Drakontos Caves.

Vriska took a stray piece of driftwood from the rocky ground, walking over to the entrance to the largest of the many caves. There on the wall was a single torch, there like it always was. Vriska lit her piece of driftwood, holding it up high as she made her way through the dark caves.

"No point in hiding in the dark, Neophyte," Vriska said, a slight sneer in her voice.

"Or perhaps you're just lost, Marquise?" A voice replied, though Vriska wasn't sure of its source. It seemed to be... everywhere.

"Lost?" Vriska cackled, "please, I come here all too often to get lost. Got to check up on you and your little reptiles, haven't I?"

"You're taking a lot longer than you usually do," the voice replied, sounding smug. "You sure you haven't taken a wrong turn? These caves are _incredibly_ dark, you know."

Vriska turned a corner, walking into a larger cave 'corridor', which then opened out into a large, bright open space. There were no rocks forming a ceiling now, leaving the top of the cave open to the bright sky. Pools of water trickled around the cave randomly, little waterfalls forming here and there. Some brave plants had even begun trying desperately to poke through the rocks.

Though the clearing was nothing in comparison to it's inhabitants.

In the centre of the clearing lay a colossal beast. It's scales reflected the light, casting rainbow shadows to be cast on the rocky walls. Steadily it's powerful chest moved as it breathed peacefully, obviously asleep. It's claws were nearly as large as Vriska alone. Certainly one of the more impressive dragons that Vriska had seen.

Around the colossal dragon lay smaller dragons. Not small in comparison to your average person, but certainly small in comparison to the giant of a reptile that stole the limelight. There must be at least one hundred dragons in the entire cave, after all, some were no bigger than your smallest pixie.

Atop of the dragon pile-on sat Terezi Pyrope. Just who Vriska wanted to see.

"Told you I wasn't lost," Vriska smirked. "I see you've added to your collection?"

Terezi raised an eyebrow, "you counting how many dragons I have?"

"Well," Vriska raised an eyebrow, stepping over a sleeping cat-sized dragon at her feet, " _that_ monstrosity wasn't here last time I visited." She gestured over to the colossal dragon that Terezi was sitting on.

"He flew over from someplace beyond our island. I have no idea where but he was pretty badly injured. I guess that means there's probably even bigger ones outside the shelter of this tiny land mass." Terezi said, but then changed her tone completely, turning it to one of loathing. "What do you want, Serket?"

"Oh, nothing really," Vriska smirked, pretending to examine a rock knowing full well Terezi wouldn't bite her apathetic facade. "Unless of course, you want to help out in a little... Revolution."

Terezi scoffed, "revolution? Why would I be bothered with such pointless shit?"

"Oh this isn't just any revolution, Neophyte. It's against your beloved kismeises."

Terezi frowned, "Makara?"

Vriska smirked, waiting.

"Tell me more."

"Oh how predictable you are, Terezi. I'm almost disappointed you cracked so easily."

"Shut up and talk, pirate. I can wake the big guy up at any point," Terezi snarled.

"No need to be hasty, all in good time," Vriska cleared her throat. "Your beloved leaders of Southern Prospit are, of course, not as beloved as they're cracked up to be. Turns out pretty much everyone's fed up of their shit, especially Mr Grumpy head-knight."

"Karkat?" Terezi cut across almost frantically.

Vriska raised an eyebrow, "but of course. You seem overly concerned, Neophyte, feeling a little... flushed perhaps?"

Terezi snarled and threatened to wake the dragon. Vriska panicked a little at this, as Terezi was incredibly skilled in her bluffs, and the last thing Vriska wanted was to be chased through dark caves by a massive reptile.

"Seems the four in charge are Karkat and his brother, your older sister, and Kanaya. I've even heard they're asking for help from the other realms too. They've got a pretty powerful army going on," Vriska said. "Of course, as a pirate it is in my best interests to overthrow our monarchs."

Scoffing, Terezi frowned. "Yes, but you'd wait until everyone else had done the hard work of actually _overthrowing_ them, and then jump in and take the glory for yourself; declare that you are now Pirate Queen of Southern Prospit. Don't think you'll fool me."

Vriska laughed lightly, "you're so quick to jump to the negative conclusion, Terezi. Perhaps I had a different outcome in mind?"

"Perhaps. But I know that you don't do things unless they'll personally benefit you and your plans, and I know I certainly don't want to help your fucked up plans."

"Terezi, you really are too boring," Vriska shrugged, "how would I, a lone pirate on these oceans, stand a chance against nearly Skaia's entire land population? I'm good, but surely you don't think _that_ highly of me?"

"I know very well that you stand no chance against even half of Skaia's new forming army. But I also know that 'sly' doesn't even begin to describe your way of doing things. Why get me involved if it doesn't benefit you?"

"Who said it benefitted me? Perhaps I'm bored, I just want to make things a little more interesting?"

"If you wanted 'more interesting' then you'd be going to slay the Makaras yourself. There's more to this than that."

Vriska frowned. "There's no way I'm going to be able to convince you, I suppose. Though are you really satisfied?"

"What? Since when were you concerned with my general satisfaction of life?"

"Spending all this time here in a cave full of dragons, refusing to come out. Anyone would think you were sulking, Terezi."

Terezi snarled, "I find comfort here. I hate living in the castle. Everyone is living under a massive pretence that isn't fooling anyone. The tension reeks."

"Sure it's not more to do with your little black-rom with the Bard?"

Terezi snapped her fingers. The dragon underneath her stirred, growing in his sleep before one eye opened slowly. It found Vriska, never once breaking her gaze. Holy shit that dragon was big.

"Fine, fine, I get it; you're touchy, I won't bring it up!" Vriska said hurriedly. The dragon's breathing became slower again, though his eye stayed open. "But don't you think this is your perfect chance? To get a bit of revenge on that clown? Surely there must be a single bone in your sullen body that aches for a slice of vengeance. This could be your chance, Terezi. Get it over with; be the one to slay your patriarchy. Then you can let it all go; leave these morose caves and get back to your life."

Terezi let out a shrill laugh. "I have to hand it to you, Vriska, you're a persuasive talker! No wonder you're such a skilled pirate, you probably just convince your victims that they _want_ to let you steal their loot. They don't call you Mindfang for nothing! But I assure you. I am not so easily fooled. The day I succumb to your smarmy persuasive techniques is the day I make a noose to fit my neck perfectly. I'm not leaving these caves, I do not intend to seek revenge on the Makaras, and nothing - _nothing_ , is ever going to make me help you."

Vriska cackled in return, "well, Terezi, I can assure you, I didn't come here today because I needed _your_ help. Not only can I manage perfectly fine on my own, I think I work better on my own. I figured I'd give you a heads up before the big games begin. It's your loss."

Turning to leave, Vriska said on her way out, "though, I did lie about one thing. I'll be able to take on this island. All of the armies of Skaia could take me on at once and they wouldn't lay a finger on me. Know why? Luck is everything in a battle, and oh, how wonderful it is that I am in control of luck." Vriska laughed, almost madly as she exited the clearing, making her way through the caves. "Have a nice life, Terezi. You never know, maybe an extra large wave will hit these pitiful caves and drown you and your pathetic dragons."

There was a reptilian roar, though Vriska paid no worry to it. She was out of the caves now and making her way towards her docked boat. She had bigger fish to fry, as it were.

With a fleeting leap, she caught hold of the rigging, climbing aboard her vessel, yanking up the anchor and away she sailed. The wind was powerful today. How lucky.

* * *

Vriska docked her ship just outside the official ports of Southern Derse. After all she didn't want anyone snooping about on her mighty vessel after all. There were valuable things in that boat.

The walk up to the castle of StakkFisk Castle was indeed a long one. Vriska didn't feel up for walking, so she nimbly hopped onto the back of a passing horse and cart, the unsuspecting driver continuing regardless of the pirate hitching a ride.

A glance up at the sun's position told Vriska that Prince Eridan and Princess Feferi should still be on their way back from the dance up in Northern Prospit. Good. This was a perfect opportunity.

She hopped off the back of the cart a few minutes later, landing right outside the tavern she needed to be in. It was one of the roughest places in town, but the people inside owed Vriska a few favours. She knew she could talk safely in here.

Stepping inside, Vriska was met with enough smoke to make you want to cough your brains out, accompanied with the... _delightful_ stench of bitter alcohol, and body odour swiftly following it. The tavern was dark spare from a few candles at each table, giving only enough light as neccessary. This place simply oozed with suspicion.

Good job Vriska fit right in. She tapped the counter, ordering for a whiskey be sent to her table immediately. She strode over to a table with two figures already sat at it, and claimed the third, empty chair.

"Evening," she said, tipping the peak of her tricorne at the two.

Sat at the table were two of the only people Vriska had ever collaborated with. The first was Sollux Captor. Known for his high ranking position in the castle and closeness to the Princess, Sollux was a vital part of Vriska's plan. Whether she could trust him or not was another thing. It almost seemed like the guy had two personalities; one that wanted rebellion and one that wanted order.

"I see that you managed to escape the dreaded ball in time, Sollux?" Vriska cackled, grabbing the rum that a waitress brought over.

He frowned, unamused. "I did. But not before I stole Eridan's only chance at dancing with Feferi."

Vriska snorted, clapping, "I like it! You should do stuff like that more."

"Oh trust me, I have many things lined up for Ampora."

The second sat at the table was Aradia Megido. Though she wasn't socially higher than Sollux in any way as a mere maid, she did have a unique set of privileges due to this job. For instance, say if the objective of their plan was to destroy all of the clothes in the castle, forcing everyone to go around naked, well, Aradia and her maid status made this a very possible task for her.

Of course, de-clothing the castle was not Vriska's primary objective.

"Sollux and I have ensured we've done everything as you've asked," Aradia said. "I assure you've kept your part of the bargain."

"I don't know why you doubt me," Vriska said. "I cheat people that deserve to be cheated. If I've made a bargain, I'll stick to my part... Usually." She cackled, reaching into the pocket of her coat and bringing out two little bags, thrusting each at the pair, who caught them quickly.

They double checked the contents. Inside, of course, were numerous gold coins.

"Go ahead and bite them, I assure you they're as real as they come," Vriska took a deep drink.

After ensuring the gold was indeed the real deal, Aradia and Sollux seemed satisfied.

"What do you want us to do next, then?" Sollux asked.

"It's very simple, my dear subordinates," Vriska clapped her hands together. "I want you to wait. Just wait. Until winter, that is. That is when our real plan will begin. Sollux, I need you to carry on building that bond you got going on with the Princess. Aradia, record everything you can about the routine of the castle. Just keep a journal or something, record what time anyone does _anything;_ Eats, sleeps, dies, I don't know. Anything that's useful. Are we clear?"

There were two hums of agreement.

"We're being paid the same as last time, yes?" Aradia checked.

"Yes, if you do your jobs correctly," Vriska said, draining her glass, slamming it down on the table. "If everything goes to plan, which it will, by Christmas we should have the perfect bargaining chip of Feferi Pixies."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shameless LazyTown references in the chapter title there.
> 
> Quite short but ay after this, things are getting started!
> 
> Thank you for any lovely feedback!


	3. Lost Hope

**Chapter Three - Lost Hope**

Autumn was slowly passing on the island of Skaia, the golden fallen leaves being replaced by thick ice and even some snow here and there. The chill in the air could bring even the most brazen person to shiver slightly.

Preparations for revolution were forming swiftly. In a few months, with the efforts of each of the realm's involved leaders, everyone was slowly understanding what their task was and how they were to carry it out.

Today, many of the leaders were up in Earth Derse's castle. This doubled up as both a revolution meeting and a joint preparation for the Winter Ball that would take place the following evening. With Dirk and the others so busy, they had no time to organise a ball! So those who had no desire to actually _fight_ in the revolution had been left up to party planning.

The knights were currently discussing and teaching each other tactics. Or that's what they were meant to be doing.

"This cape is a fucking stupid idea, Strider!" Karkat shouted, jabbing it with his sword.

"Fuck off! This cape's cooler than everything you own put together," Dave frowned, meeting Karkat's sword with his own.

"But it's a fucking pain! How many times have you tripped over it while trying to fight?"

"At least four," Rose called from where she was sitting in the sidelines, then returned to her conversation with Kanaya.

"Exactly. What use is a fucking cool looking cape going to be in a revolution? Fuck you can't fight but you'll look great (well actually you won't because it looks fucking stupid)" Karkat said.

"Well it isn't as stupid as your fucking useless sickle that we had to yank off you."

"I can assure you it wouldn't be 'fucking useless' when you're pinned up against a wall with it at your neck!"

This continued for a while, Latula egging the two of them on, until finally all of the knights had given up on their practice, watching Karkat and Dave argue half-jokingly about petty things. The two seemed to be getting a kick out of the banter, but were getting pretty wound up about things.

Just as Karkat finally challenged Dave to a duel, Kanaya sighed, apologised to Rose and went over to the crowd of laughing knights to break Dave and Karkat up.

"Surely you should be teaching rather than fighting amongst yourselves?" she cocked an eyebrow, gently signalling for them both to lower their raised swords. Slowly the two obeyed, sliding them back into their belts safely. "Good. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to return to my conversation with Rose in peace. Try to actually get things done."

Karkat frowned but obeyed.

"Very well handled," Rose said with a chuckle as Kanaya sat herself back down beside Rose, their hips touching ever-so-slightly.

"When growing up with Karkat and Kankri you need to know how to silence what could be an incredibly long-winded and pointless argument," Kanaya said, smiling. "Where were we?"

"I believe we were coming up with some form of battle strategy," Rose looked down at the table in front of them, maps and books scattered across it. They had one large sheet of parchment which upon it were the beginnings of a map of Alternia Prospit's castle, and little figures drawn on it; the positions that people should hold during the revolution.

Kanaya sighed, "I must say, although I know this is incredibly important... It is _awfully_ boring. Especially when I'm sat beside a very interesting woman."

Rose chuckled, "speak for yourself, Kanaya. But I have to agree, it's rare I get to see you and I hate to waste it doing such a boring task."

"It's a shame; I've heard Eridan Ampora has a passion for maps. If he'd agreed to join then we might be able to escape for a little while," Kanaya sighed.

Rose frowned, looking at the knights, who were once again joking about. "Well they're slacking off. I daresay we've done at least double the work they've done," she clapped her hands together lightly, "right I think we should call it a day. It's nearly Christmas, we should be allowed to leave early."

Kanaya smirked, "I like your thinking. What do you plan on doing with your newfound free time?"

"Well," Rose said, never once breaking eye contact with Kanaya, "I've had some new dresses that I'm particularly fond of. Would you care to take a look?"

"Certainly," Kanaya smirked back, almost waggling her eyebrows, but she controlled herself.

The two got up and quickly slipped away, holding their long skirts up as they hurried down the stairs. Once they were on equal ground, Rose slipped her hand into Kanaya's, neither saying a word nor looking at each other, but sharing internal warm smiles.

"Morning Rose," Dirk said, rushing past the pair of them.

"Morning," Rose said, nodding her hair. "You look rushed."

"Busy day," Dirk said simply. "Have you seen Jake around?"

"He's with Jane and Roxy. They're over in the town on their lunch break."

"Okay, see you later. Have fun with... whatever you might be doing."

Rose chuckled, assuring him she would as Kanaya blushed. The blush only made Rose's grin widen as the two made their way to her bedroom.

Dirk found Jake where Rose had promised; sure enough, he was playing cards with Jane and Roxy. Judging by the amount of noise they were generating, they were certainly having fun. Dirk almost wanted to sit down and join them.

"Well ladies, I hate to admit it but you have me well and truly beaten," Jake threw down his cards as the girls high-fived in victory.

"Oh Dirk, hiya!" Roxy grinned, waving energetically as she saw him. Jake and Jane turned around, greeting Dirk, who'd begun walking over.

"I'm not interrupting anything am I?" Dirk asked.

"Nope, we just finished a game," Jane said with a smile. "Can we help you with anything?"

"Well I was looking to speak with Jake if that wasn't a problem?"

"Me? Oh, sure," Jake got up, grinning awkwardly. Dirk beckoned for Jake to follow him.

The two walked awkwardly in silence for a while. Jake decided to break the silence as smoothly as he could.

"So um... That play we went to see last week was pretty great!" he said weakly. Jake was about as smooth as sandpaper.

Dirk smiled slightly, "I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hear there's another pretty good one next week. If I get some free time, you're welcome to come with me."

"I'll definitely try and make it! Me and Jade are going out hunting sometime soon, you should tag along if you get time to," Jake grinned.

Dirk felt his chest lighten at Jake's reply. He didn't realise that Jake was enthusiastic about their meetings; actually Dirk had begun to worry a little that he was irritating Jake. Though then again the Page had not been gifted with perfect social eloquence, so he was quite easily misinterpreted. It could be quite frustrating.

"Say, Jake. Would you ever be up for going somewhere alone with me?" Dirk asked, trying to sound casual. Jake didn't seem to pick up on the tension.

"We've been going places alone already," Jake said, confused.

"Oh, I mean... maybe if we thought of it in a different way. A more... romantic way, for instance."

There was a silence as Jake actually realised what Dirk was saying. "Dirk are you...?"

"You're an interesting guy, Jake. I feel my attraction towards you isn't just friendly."

Jake blinked, clueless as to how to react. "Well... um... I..." Jake managed, looking at Dirk, very unsure as to what on earth he should say.

Dirk smirked inwardly. He should've expected this outcome. Fucking figured.

"I - I really have to go," Jake stuttered, bowing his head to avoid any further eye contact with Dirk. Away he jogged, stiffly and awkwardly. Dirk would've found it hilarious and almost cute if he didn't feel so... _numb_.

Great. After a few months of knowing him, Dirk had fucked up his chances with the only person he'd ever found himself actually romantically liking. Fucking brilliant. Though then again, Jake hadn't said _no_. Dirk hadn't been rejected; he'd been left as some sort of Schrodinger's cat. He sank to the floor of the corridor that he and Jake had been standing in, resting his head in his arms, both confused and quite upset. He had prince-y stuff to be doing, but right now that was the last thing he wanted to be doing.

He could stay here for a little while. That would be okay. No one was coming down the corridor, by the looks of things, so he'd be okay. Dirk sighed. If only he could stay in the corridor for the rest of his life and not have to face up to remotely difficult things.

* * *

The Winter Ball had been a success for some and an utter disaster for others. Among the smug attendees were, of course, Rose and Kanaya and John and Dave. Rose and Kanaya were both now very forward about their blossoming romantic feelings for one another; neither even bothering to hide it in front of others. Everyone knew exactly what was going on between those two. John and Dave, although still playing with excuses and pretences and awkwardness were slowly getting closer and closer in a more-than-friendly way, though neither were brave enough to bring up the discussion of "do we want to make this an actual dating thing?". 'Skinny love' was the term used a lot when they were being gossiped about.

Then of course were the more... unsuccessful of the romantic pursuits. Dirk had spent the entire ball blatantly ignoring anyone bar Roxy, not even attempting to look entertained as he was putting together some sort of miniature contraption and 'reading through some paperwork' which was actually just a lot of blank pages bound together.

Terezi had still yet to show up out of her dragon cave, something that was worrying Karkat, and therefore make him even more angry than usual. This had then led to Jade getting snapped at by him when she asked him what was wrong, and then Jade's feelings were hurt too. Generally Karkat felt like a piece of shit.

Eridan was also angry at himself. Not only had he still not managed to get a dance with Feferi, she'd been with Sollux for the majority of the night, not even dancing with others now. Everything was just one continuous dance with _Sollux_. Why _him!?_ Eridan had spent the majority of the night sulking by wherever the wine was. He'd gotten talking to Roxy while there, though communication was minimal as he couldn't understand what she was saying through her slurring, and she couldn't understand his stupid accident. He'd mainly just moaned to himself about stupid Sollux taking Feferi away from him.

And that, Eridan told himself, was exactly what he was planning on discussing with the Princess once they were back home. He'd already planned it all out; it was impossible not to, what with a ridiculously long journey home with nothing to do but ride a horse and mull over your thoughts.

Once horses had been tied up and goodbyes had been exchanged, Eridan and Feferi along with a few others made their way up tiredly up to the castle.

"It's times like these I really hate having to walk down so many stairs to get to my room," Feferi sighed, beginning her decent to the lower rooms. The only reason she took the basement rooms, is because they were connected to the part of the castle which was submerged in water, and obviously a mermaid had to live in an underwater castle. Only when she had her magical legs could she actually step foot out of it.

Eridan followed her; his room was also down below, for the sole reason of it being closer to Feferi. "Fef, um," Eridan said on their way down. "Can I have a word with you about somethin'?"

Feferi hopped down the last few steps, "sure thing! But you're gunna have to follow me because I'm gunna get changed into some more comfortable clothes!" She made her way over to her room, throwing off her high heels as she walked.

Eridan hesitated at the door, but as soon as he saw Feferi was standing behind her screen at the back of the room to get changed, he happily followed her in.

"So what was it you needed?" She called while jewellery, hairclips and bits of clothing were flung out from behind the screen.

"Well... Um... It's about Sollux."

"Oh? What about him?"

"What is he to you?" Eridan asked quickly.

Feferi paused, more clothing was flung away. "Well... He's a lovely guy," she said simply, pausing, unsure how to phrase what she was to say next. "No... it's not that he's a lovely guy... he's a different guy. You meet him and he is certainly _not_ a lovely guy! But then slowly you get to know him, he opens up, and you see a nice side to him. I don't even know if _he_ can see the nice side of him, yet. I hope he can see it one day."

Sighing, Eridan sat down on one of the many armchairs. That really wasn't the answer he wanted.

"Eridan? Why'd you want to know?"

"I... well..." Eridan sighed, rubbing his temples and closing his eyes in frustrated concentration, trying to phrase what he wanted to say in the least offensive way possible. In the end he just decided to come out with it. "I feel like I'm losin' you, Fef."

"What do you mean?"

Standing up and beginning to frustrated pace around the room quickly, Eridan said, "well... fuck how do I say this. It feels like you're not even _here_ anymore, Fef. Obviously we're physically _in_ the same room, but it's not the same as it used to be. Before I knew I meant somethin' to you; I wasn't just a Prince, I was _Eridan_. But now, fuck I don't know who the hell I am to you."

Feferi appeared from out behind her screen, wearing a simple violate night gown and looking very concerned as she made her way over to Eridan. "Eridan what are you saying? Of course you're important to me! We see each other every day, I can tell you anything and you can tell me anything! We trust each other, don't we? We're the prince and princess of Southern Alternia, and though we might not be romantically involved with one another that doesn't mean we're not close!"

Eridan looked hesitant to agree.

"What is it, Eridan?" she asked as softly as she could, trying not to sound too frustrated.

"It's fuckin' stupid..." Eridan grumbled. "I... fuck I may as well tell you. These past few balls, well, I've been really lookin' to get a dance or two with you, Fef. Nothin' special, just a little dance, y'know? Or even just sit and talk with you. But... well fuckin' _Sollux_ has been with you the entire time, hasn't he? Or some worthless lowblood, and I just haven't had chance to... to _be_ with you. At all."

"I had no idea you felt like that Eridan! But why didn't you just ask for a dance?"

Fins flushing purple, Eridan stuttered, "W-well you see this is what's so fuckin' stupid. I was tryin' my best all night, but every single time I was about to go up to you, some glubbing useless human or Sollux or whatever would come up and demand to dance with you. Every fuckin' time, I swear."

Feferi frowned to herself, thinking. Then, without a word she made her way over to the little music box collection she had on her desk. She carefully picked one up and opened it as the simple and sweet melody began to play. She set it down, walking back over to Eridan, thrusting out her hand.

"Dance with me, Eridan!"

"But now I feel fuckin' ridiculous!"

"Eridan stop being so fussy! You wanted a dance, well, as your princess I am commanding you dance with me!"

Part of Eridan wanted to continue protesting, but most of him was actually very pleased by this turn of events. He took hold of Feferi's outstretched hand, pulling the two of them together and they began to slowly dance to the melodic tune of the music box.

Eridan felt utterly ridiculous; there he was, properly dressed in all of his formal wear he'd been wearing for the ball, and he was dancing with one of the prettiest women he'd ever met who was wearing only a loose fitting night gown and still managed to be stunning. As much as he felt awkward in such a situation, the overbearing glee he got from it overtook the embarrassment.

Neither said anything as they danced, they didn't even look at each other, they both felt too bashful for once. However, they were both smiling, and though they didn't look at one another, they knew the smile was there. Feferi began to giggle a little.

"This situation - it's so... obscure and wonderful!" Feferi explained her giggles with a smile, "I'm a mermaid; I shouldn't even be _able_ to dance with you! Let alone in my bedroom in the middle of the night while you're dressed up as if you're about to go to a wedding!"

"Perhaps I'm not stupidly over dressed, maybe you're ridiculously underdressed!" Eridan retorted with a small smile.

"Certainly not," Feferi grinned, "I had to grow legs for this, so I'm automatically right!"

"How does that work!?"

"It works because I'm a princess and I said so!" She giggled more, making Eridan chuckle a little.

In retort, Eridan spun the two of them a little quicker, pretending to drop Feferi in time with the music, but caught her with both arms, her legs flying up in the air as they laughed.

Suddenly, however, there came a terrifyingly loud crack, and Eridan and Feferi were engulfed in a cloud of multicoloured smoke. The two blinked, wondering what on earth had happened. Feferi then realised what had happened.

"Um, Eridan it's a good job you're holding me right now because, well, _look at my legs_."

Eridan tried to look at her legs, but couldn't. There weren't any legs there. Just a big, smooth, mermaid tail.

"You transformed back! But we're mid _dance!"_ Eridan cried.

"I can't help the transformation - I just go _poof_ , back into a mermaid after 48 hours! Just - Just don't drop me, Eridan!" Feferi said, feeling Eridan beginning to loosen his grip on her.

"Oh shit you can't walk can you?" Eridan hoisted her up, supporting her back with one arm and hooking her extravagant fin over the other arm. "It's like you're my fuckin' damsel in distress."

"Well I'm more of a mermaid in distress right now. Let's head back over to the water part of the castle, yeah?"

Eridan nodded, carrying her through the lower parts of the castle. While walking, though he began to chuckle, the chuckle turned into a laugh and soon he was at risk of dropping Feferi from his guffaws of amusement.

"You - I - we -" he tried to explain his laughter, and Feferi began helplessly laughing along as well, though she wasn't sure why.

"You're a fuckin' _mermaid_ ," he tried again, "and you just go and transform on me like that - I - it's so fuckin' _ridiculous_. You're in your fuckin' _nighty_ and I'm dressed like I'm going to visit some sorta king! _"_

The two collapsed into laughter as they reached the part of the castle where the water met land. Eridan helped Feferi out of her now unnecessary clothing, sliding her into the water, chuckling as they did so. The pair sat, Eridan on land, Feferi in the water, letting the last of their giggles fade away.

"Damn I love this place," Eridan muttered as they sat, neither wanting to leave.

"I know, it's so beautiful," Feferi said. She was right. It was the perfect mad-made fusion of land and water; the marble floor which had a slightly blue tint to it formed the stairs that led up into the main castle, and a corridor which led off into a number of rooms; two of which were Eridan and Feferi's bedrooms. Then came the most dramatic part; where the marble met the clear, almost crystal-like water that Feferi most of her days in. The floor sloped naturally downward as the water lapped at it, much like the ocean. Below that was the underwater castle that Eridan had never actually seen. Feferi had assured him it was breathtakingly wonderful.

Eridan began mindlessly playing with a lock of Feferi's hair as they sat. He would've gone to bed, but he wanted to be with Feferi, and by the looks of things, she wanted to be with him too. He continued to twiddle with the hair, just thinking to himself. Feferi sighed happily to herself, relaxing into the water, her tail contentedly swaying ever so slightly. Before he knew it, Eridan realised he was braiding her hair.

"I didn't know you could braid," Feferi smiled, admiring her hair.

"Neither did I..." Eridan said, bemused, continuing to pleat her hair. "I'm really fuckin' tired..."

Feferi yawned, "so am I, cod, it must be pretty late..."

Neither were quite sure when it happened but slowly their eyes slid closed and they slipped into the world of sleep almost simultaneously, leaning against one another. They dozed contentedly, before finally both fell into a peaceful, deep sleep.

It was hours before Eridan woke up. His face had been resting in very shallow water, leaving one side of his face and hair soaking wet. He stretched, yawning. That was one of the most peaceful sleeps he'd had in an awful long time. However, sleeping on a marble floor in formal wear was not exactly comfortable.

Climbing to his feet, Eridan was about to make his way into his bedroom before he realised... Where was Feferi?

She'd probably just woken up before him and swam into her bed.

However Eridan felt uneasy, so he knocked thrice on her bedroom door, letting himself in and walked over to the little area of the room which merged into a pool, and a little area of rocks and coral that Feferi called her bed.

She wasn't sleeping in it.

Eridan began to panic. He ran back out to where he and Feferi had been sleeping, pulling off his coat as he ran and prepared to dive straight into the deepest part of the water to search for her. However, just as he was about to jump he saw something he'd missed in his sleepy state before.

There, right where Feferi had been sleeping was a small, black flag. Eridan picked it up, turning it over and felt his blood go cold as he gritted his teeth and bawled his fists in anger.

It wasn't just any flag, it was Vriska Serket's flag, and attached to it was a tiny note.

" _Your princess is in another castle! 8etter find her 8efore something 8ad happens!_ "

Eridan could feel the bloodlust fill his veins like poison as he loosened his cravat and pulled on a cloak, totally enraged in fury. He didn't care about what time it was, he marched straight through the castle out to the stables, getting a few concerned comments from random maids which he ignored. He climbed on top of his horse and wordlessly left the castle's grounds at a ridiculously fast galloping pace. He didn't care if this horse crumbled beneath him from energy loss; nothing was stopping him.

* * *

"Have we finished yet? It's six in the morning and I'm really tired," John moaned, resting his face in his hands.

"Shut the fuck up, John. We've discussed tactics, weapons, dates..." Karkat faded off, mumbling to himself and checking his mental list. "Yes okay we're fucking done. Unless anyone wants to add anything but we all know there's a right and wrong answer to that."

There were grumbles of agreement as the members of the revolution meeting grumbled, climbing to their feet and stretching. After spending the night at a ball, and then discussing revolutions for a further six hours, no one was in the best of moods.

"Hold on!" Came a call as the door slammed open. Standing there was Eridan, trying to catch his breath.

No one had the energy to express any form of surprise, so the only reaction he got were annoyed grunts off a few people.

"What the fuck are you doing here," Karkat said hopelessly.

"I -" Eridan was quite taken aback at the anticlimactic entrance, but then realised it didn't matter. He dropped to the floor in a bow, his head lowered, "Feferi is being held hostage by Vriska Serket and her pirates. I request - no, I beg - that you let me join your revolution in hope to overthrow the monsters of our seas. Everything in my kingdom is yours; just help me get Feferi back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N  
> I haven't proof read this because I'm really tired *bad writer* so sorry about that!!  
> Also if you wanna know how Feferi gets from room to room in her castle when she's in mermaid form, there's like a massive stream network in the castle that she swims in. Like a bus lane but for mermaids.  
> Thank you for lovely feedback!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N
> 
> I know there's not a lot of point saying it but please bear with me! It's a slow start, but I have massive plans for this plotline. Like, documents worth. I even made a map (I fucked up the scale but fuck man a map).
> 
> So yeah I love you for reading this, thank you!
> 
> (Also that 1 of 12 chapters is a bit of a guess and could very well change, but it's a rough idea)


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